FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
