Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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