I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
