The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
