It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm sobbing to NWA
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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