nut hugger
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
