She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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