i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
