my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
