Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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