She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
