Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize