doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
