I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
only if we run a train.
done.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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