..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
