office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
don't judge my taste in strippers
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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