So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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