Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
