Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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