remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
