Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize