i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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