but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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