I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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