Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
