Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
