He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
do herpes really smell.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
