I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
