I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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