I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
