I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
