My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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