Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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