last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
