I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
