What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
