similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize