me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize