your thong is hanging out like whoa
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This is classic penis vs brain.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
