Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
