ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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