They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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