Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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