Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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