do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
