I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
