i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
