alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
