So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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