I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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