dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
