the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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