i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
