You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize