i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
