You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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