I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
