Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
be right there i have to get my cape
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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