Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize