I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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