New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
