I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize