Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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