I'm drive I can fine osifer
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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