Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
