I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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