Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
