Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
