i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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